Showing vs. Telling
Write With the Five Senses
Use the five senses to show, not tell. What does your character see, hear, taste, smell, and touch?
Show what your character experiences through the five senses. Use strong verbs. The sense verbs (see, hear, taste, smell, and touch) can be considered weak “telling” verbs. The key to showing your character’s sensory experiences is to eliminate the sense verbs.
Writing with the senses engages a reader’s emotions. If you remove the sense verbs, you form a closer connection with readers. A reader will experience what is happening to your character as though the reader is personally experiencing it.
Abigail could hear the sound of thunder in the distance. Abigail felt the branches hit her arms hard and make them bleed as she ran through the forest toward the clearing. She could see the glow from the fire in the clearing ahead and knew she would be safe there. She smelled the stench emanating from the massive creature behind her. She turned to look behind her when she heard the sound of the creature’s breathing. A flash of lightning lit up the sky and the creature was close enough that she saw its sharp teeth.
Thunder rumbled in the distance. As Abigail ran through the forest, the branches slapped her arms and tore her skin. The glow of a fire illuminated the clearing ahead of Abigail, signaling safety. The putrid aroma from the massive creature behind her enveloped her in a thick fog. The creature’s rasping breath echoed in her ears. Lightning crackled and illuminated the sky. Abigail risked a glance behind her. The creature’s needle-like teeth gleamed like well-sharpened knives.